Confessions of a Burn Victim

Ok...time to be honest (this is not to say that I haven't been honest up to this point, it's just that I haven't gotten personal). It's time for me to spill. I've been strong; I've had to be strong for the past 9 or 10 months. I haven't asked for any hand-outs, haven't begged for someone to hold me; I haven't even complained about it. But it's time people heard what I have to say; it's time to realize that I am a human being too, rational and emotional just like everyone else.The first point that I want to address is that I, just like everyone else, make mistakes. Whether those are big or small, they are a learning process. However, I fail to see the connection of me "learning" by being lectured about my mistake by people who hardly know me and who are not at all involved in my situation. In doing this, they themselves are making several mistakes. Number one, they are assuming that their words, and not the consequences of my actions, will lead me to admit my mistake. Secondly they believe that through their lecture the mistake will somehow be rectified, which, unless they are mentally ill, they should know that no one can take back what has happened in the past. Third, they are under the false pretense that even if their little scheme works and I have some amazing epiphany of how incridibly right they always seem to be (despite their uninvolvement) and how wrong I obviously am, that I will cry and appologize profusely. Most people become defensive when others dwell on sensative issues and there is no reason to appologize to someone who hasn't been hurt. Lastly, there is no reason for an already emotionally confusing event to become more so due to someone's need to "speak up." There is no way to justify getting more people invloved than the immediate, ones unless it is one person to mediate between the two, and this person should be completely unbiased and patient in order to better the understanding of the situation and help the immediate people involved come to a resolution. Ultimately the only thing these "lecturers" are doing is making the accused feel defensive, which in turn makes him or her less willing to appologize to the party that has actually suffered. I do not understand how their side can be rationally defended nor do I understand how they can act on such a whim and expect a better out come than what they get.
The second point I want to make is that I am the only person who can honestly judge my actions, since I alone know my motivations and desires. Therefore, it stands to reason that I, and I alone, can call something a "mistake." Others have no right to pass judgment on me, less they be judged in return. I do not sit around with my measuring stick and see who passes my inspections of righteousness, goodness, morality, and the like. Because every person is a unique individual with unique experiences, it would be hypocritical of me to measure anyone against my standards, which obviously have evolved from my life and not theirs. In the same way, it is wrong, let me say that again, WRONG for anyone to measure me by their standards. I don't pretend to understand what they have gone through in life, and they shouldn't pretend to understand me or my circumstances either.
Lastly I would like to touch on friendship, or should I say the lack thereof. The only way we can really know a man's character is by placing him in a situation where his wants and desires are opposite to his duty as a husband, employee, or..hhmmm...friend. If he is loyal to his duty, placing his own happiness temporarily aside, then he is of good moral fider. However, if he chooses his own desires over that of his duties he is self-seeking. I understand that sometimes one must draw the line, but to have only one test of friendship and not pass is a testament to who (not what) one is really committed. It is sad to me that so many of the most intelligent, supposedly most rational college age students that attend schools of Ivy League callibur, refuse to use simple logic skills when it comes to personal relationships. It speaks volumes to what type of people they really are.
To sum this up, I have been burned, then chastised for being burned, then left because I had all the scars of a burn victim. Seems unfair? Probably because it was. I haven't said a word till now, and after this I will never say another word about it.